Stupid Cupid

A man who is accused of trying to get marijuana into a Washington state jail by attaching it to an arrow he shot onto the roof has been identified. The suspect is none other than Cupid, the chubby little cherub who is responsible for causing so many of us to fall hopelessly in love. When questioned of his motive for shooting an arrow with marijuana attached to it into the jail, this was his response. "I've been having quite a bit of trouble these last few years with getting men to fall in love. With their fantasy football leagues, video games, lack of responsibilities, etc., they just don't seem to have an interest in love anymore no matter how potent my arrows are. In fact, these "man-boys" seem to have almost become immune to them. So, I decided to try something just a little different. Granted, it probably wasn't the most ideal place to start but I just wanted to see if, by perhaps, altering their state of minds would somehow allow my arrows to once again produce their desired effects."

The Diabolical Brain Brothers

I have just been informed by my friend and closest ally, my heart, that the long standing feud between my right brain and my left brain has reached a permanent ceasefire. After years of non-stop bickering which often times has left me virtually brain dead, "The Diabolical Brain Brothers" as they now call themselves, have torn down the wall between them and are now united as one, all powerful, Superbrain. Unfortunately, however, in the process of their reunification they became corrupted and now seek control over every member of my body, including my heart, who had many times tried to intervene and negotiate a peace treaty. I refuse to allow my beloved friend, who had already suffered so much from their constant feuding, to fall and become subject to their total domination. The war has begun.

Horsefeathers!

Ever since I started using The Original Mane 'n Tail Shampoo I've noticed a more shiny, manageable and fuller mane, er, I mean, hair. My appetite has also curiously changed. I eat like a horse now. It's funny because I've never really liked carrots or apples before but now I eat them by the basketful and find myself chomping at the bit for more. In fact, I think I'll prance over to the kitchen, uh, make that walk over to the kitchen for a midnight snack. Tomorrow, I've got plans (hopefully, before it rains) to go to the equestrian park to throw some horseshoes with my neighbor. Okay, this is really starting to get annoying, plus, now there's a big horse-fly buzzing around the room. I think it's about time to call it a night and hit the hay.