How Grasshopper Became Jiminy Cricket

Master: Grasshopper, you have successfully completed your basic training and are now ready to fulfil your destiny. 
Grasshopper: Yes, Master. 
Master: Your first mission will be to serve as a conscience to a little wooden puppet named Pinocchio. 
Grasshopper: Huh? 
Master: The Blue Fairy will explain. Oh, and you will now be known as "Jiminy Cricket." 
Grasshopper: But, Master, I am a grasshopper. 
Master: Close enough.
Grasshopper: Master, what is a conscience? 
Master: I was afraid you were going to ask me that. Let me just put it this way. You will be responsible for telling Pinocchio the difference between right and wrong. Now, try to get him to do the right things or else you will start to burn to the point of eventually becoming a fried, crisp and tasty little grasshopper. 
Grasshopper: Master, I am not sure if I want this particular mission. Are there any others?
Master: Nope, I'm afraid not, old boy. 
Grasshopper: Is there a way to get his mistakes erased so that I don't burn and die a most terrible death? 
Master: Yes, Grasshopper. Have him read "The Miracle of Forgiveness" and have him call and make an appointment to go and talk to his bishop. 
Grasshopper: Master, who is the Blue Fairy? 
Master: Ah, most fortunate winged one! Wait till you see her! She is smokin' hot! 
Grasshopper: Is she a conscience too? 
Master: No, Grasshopper, it's a different kind of hot. You will see. Oh, and a word of advice. Try to stay out of Pleasure Island. I've been there a few times myself and was lucky to escape with all of my legs and wings intact. 
Grasshopper: Master, I will miss you. 
Master: Aw, me too, you little runt.