Wednesday, July 31, 2013

BW in Celebrity Speech Rehab

The day after her television interview with K.L. Denney, Barbara Walters checked herself into "Celebrity Speech Rehab" where she has been working with world renowned speech therapist, Dr. Yul Tokbetter.

DYT: Barbara, I would like to hear the assignment that I gave you yesterday.
BW: Doctow Tokbettew, I'm not suwe if I'm weady yet but hewe goes. Womeo, Womeo, whewefowe awt thou, Womeo.
DYT: Okay, this time you think of something a little more modern and simple.
BW: Wain, wain, go away. Come again anothew day.
DYT: Hmm, interesting. Who's Wayne and why did you tell him to go away?
BW: No, no, Doctow! I said wain, not Wayne!
DYT: Yes, of course. Was Wayne ever abusive to you?
BW: Well, only once when it came down so hawd that it pwactically wuined my little "Gucci-Guccis."
DYT: Your what?
BW: Oh sowwy. That's my little pet name I gave my favowite paiw of shoes. I bowwowed it fwom Chawo.
DYT: Barbara, it's "cuchi-cuchi." Trust me, I know. Charo was a former client.
BW: That's what I said, "gucci-guccis." What's wong? Awe you hawd of heawing?
DYT: Oh, yes, I forgot. That's why you're here.
BW: Doctow Tokbettew, am I cuwed yet?
DYT: We'll continue this tomorrow but I really think that this Wayne could be the source of your speech problem.
BW: But Doctow, I love wain! It makes evewything pwetty and gween!
DYT: Then why did you tell Wayne to go away?
BW: I DIDN'T! IT'S A STUPID NUWSEWY WHYME, YOU DUMB *** SHWINK!

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