OJ Simpson reports to parole board that he has been counseling other inmates. Let's drop in on one of his sessions, shall we? Shhh, I think this one is already in progress...
Thug 1: OJ, first of all, let me just say that I am your biggest fan and the proud owner of much of your sports and crime memorabilia...
OJ: And just how did you obtain my memorabilia?
Thug 1: I stole it. How else do you think I got in here?
OJ: Anyway, what is your question, my good man?
Thug 1: OJ, tell us how you got away with murder and we didn't?
OJ: Good question. I was going to cover that very subject next week but since you asked we might as well jump into it. Money, my friends, and lots of it. Well, gentlemen, I'm afraid that we've run out of time for today. Okay, now that that's over with let's get back to business. I have in my hand here a genuine autographed piece of my old toilet paper. Who shall begin the bidding?
Thug 2: I'll give you one cigarette for it, no, make that half a cigarette.
OJ: Do I hear one cigarette? Half a cigarette going once, going twice, sold to the man in the black and white striped jumpsuit!
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